Stuck in a Moment

"lou,hu gave u d right to say ur single? are u not clinging on 2 the promise weve made 2 years ago? why do u make me bleed? have i not loved u enough? i still feel d same way that i do 2 years ago. i might be away but it's with u where my heart stays!"

Again, it gave a light of hope for me. I am really lonely to the point that I cry when I am alone, even when I'm just walking going home, I cry because I thought of things that could have been if we are still together. I do not know if he bleeds, why can't we work things out, what are the things that he's afraid of. I wish we can work things out and be together again, but I think that's not gonna happen in a distant moment for him. I'd just wish again.

I do not know if what I am doing right now is something that I should do or end up regretting. I hope that every day he's not with me, the more he distance away from me, until eventually, I have nothing to hope for. Or would this be the setting that would make us better. I always try to come up with what he wants, even though it hurts too much. I feel two different things, happy for I met him again. Happy for I was able to touch again his face. Just looking at him while he was sleeping, just like the days when he used to sleep just beside me. I miss all the things that we used to do and have before. I am thinking if we were like before now, how would we be then. I am also sad, lonely, for I know that moment is something that won't last. We'll have to end up parting our ways apart. I hugged him so tight like it was the last hug I can ask for, the comfort that I can try to savour. For I don't know myself when will be the next. He gave me his assurance, a promise again I have to cling to. I see a light, but its very faint that it seeps the life out of me. I am weak, I am one too frail. He told me of all things that happened to him, it was better. I knew he is having a better life. And I asked myself, how am I today. It seemed like I want to fall down and cry, but no, not in front of him. I tried to keep it from him. I have to survive, work hard, for mabe one day, he would realize he would like to be with me again. For I know he does not want to, we just have to see ourselves, probably, once or twice a month, or once in a blue moon. I don't have a choice but to agree, for I know in my heart I long for him every minute. When I think of all these things, I think, are these supposed to be in our plan, and if it is, then why am I not happy with it. If not, then why cannot I do anything about it. Everything is all just up to him, I rest my life with him along with all my dreams and wishes that had stopped by with a sudden turn of a moment.