Merry Christmas to All!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone. And this is my 3rd Christmas to spend with my partner-in-life. We had a fun noche buena (winks*) kahit nabulilyaso yung seafood marinara ko dahil naubos yung LPG namin at wala na kaming mabilhan, ayus naman, tiis sa fruit cake na nahilo ako. haha! Tapos off to Taguig for a reunion with my peers. Fantastic. Anyway, gotta go!

Ciao!

I just saw this....

and I thought, Raz, was this supposed to look like you.... you gotta work out hard baby. :P

anyway, you really fooled me on this! :-P

And So Our Xmas Party Happened

And as always, we're still fashionably late. Grabeng kemehan ng very hard ang naganap. In fairness, ang hotness namin. Haha!

Excited sa Xmas Party

One week na lang at xmas party na. I really hope that our plans would turn out good. Bukas we'll have our clean up day, good luck naman sa pagiging one-day janitor ko. hehe. And then after that..... shopping! haha!

Maried life.... ayun, nevermind! napagalitan na naman ako. T_T

Weekend

And its another weekend and I am getting the most out of my restday. Buti na lang bumili si raz ng aircon at naisip na din nyang gamitin yung money nya sa magandang bagay. :P hayyyy, sarap matulog. GG lang muna kasi tong animal na si kyle at emman parang nagkemehan ata at biglang nagalisan.

Malapit na ang xmas party sa One Global at grabe, ang mga alta andun.... first time ko kaya pumunta ng xmas party sa work kaya good luck.

Am I Emotionally Battered?

Or I just got along through it?

Post Report to our Baguio Trip

And we finally came back home. I had a lot of fun with our trip to Baguio. The kulitan, quemehan, landian, sosyalan at kahirapan. I am having a hard time adjusting to work but slowly I am now completing my accounts again... Hopefully I can revived and still maintain in place. Now what's next.... X'mas Party.... The Hotness Goes Back From Baguio and Bringing It On in Alchemy!!!! LOL!

My Baguio Trip

After 15 years, I came back to Baguio and its really very different from what I remember. Its still cold and its good that global warming still has not affected this place. We have so many plans of what we will do here but still there's no salary!!! GRRR!!! T_T I hope we can already have it tonight or else, I'll be staying here for the rest of my life.

Things that makes my day...

ETO YUN EH! HEHEHE!

You've been saying that you'll lose your tummy fats starting today.... eh gumagaling na ako magluto ng spaghetti... Irresistable!

Mr. Piglet, whatever you are, you know it'll always be the same. :P

When He Loved Me

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when he was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when he was happy, so was i, when he loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just he and I together, like it was meant to be
And when he was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that he loved me.

So the years went by, I stayed the same
And he began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when he’d say "I will always love you."

Lonely and forgotten, never thought he’d look my way,
he smiled at me and held me, just like he used to do,
Like he loved me, when he loved me

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
When he loved me.

Let the Old Times Roll

Hello! Its been long since I came to post what roller coaster event have I been lately. "PROOFREAD!" Well, with regard to work, I am doing good, I just hope that my bosses and colleagues can imagine the efforts that I am doing for my job. Good news, I was awarded as the best CCS for the month of June, wow! I got to get an award on my first month as being a CCS, grabe na to! I really hope that I can still take the pressure with all the tasks assigned for me, well, its not that easy to handle SEO alone, I'm glad that some people are able to help me along the way. What I am most excited with is having my incentive! haha! ka-ching!

Also, I am already about to leave next week in Wack Wack, as in! Of all the places where I can be, its in wakwak, hahaha! Its just like my life all crumbled together with pieces of hope and pride I have torned away. Anyway, I hope it will be a good start for me or else, I'll be seeing myself in Timbuktu! Lord! Give me strength! Well, I still have all my necessities, I just need to be happy with what I am and what I am with today. THANKS!

My god! This regimen is taking a toll of my life... better get refreshed! CIAO!

Let Stop the Pendulum

Today, I woke up with news that he has to leave. I thought of things of what could have been if I made the right things. Then I fell down and cried for things that I regret. I thought, am I that worth of leaving. How much did I fell, what should I do next. I do things as hard as it can be just to show how much I'm holding on to him. For now, I guess I will lie low, I hope that he can understand what he is going through and be able to survive it. I'm hoping he can still come back to me. Now, all I have is just memories.

Stuck in a Moment

"lou,hu gave u d right to say ur single? are u not clinging on 2 the promise weve made 2 years ago? why do u make me bleed? have i not loved u enough? i still feel d same way that i do 2 years ago. i might be away but it's with u where my heart stays!"

Again, it gave a light of hope for me. I am really lonely to the point that I cry when I am alone, even when I'm just walking going home, I cry because I thought of things that could have been if we are still together. I do not know if he bleeds, why can't we work things out, what are the things that he's afraid of. I wish we can work things out and be together again, but I think that's not gonna happen in a distant moment for him. I'd just wish again.

I do not know if what I am doing right now is something that I should do or end up regretting. I hope that every day he's not with me, the more he distance away from me, until eventually, I have nothing to hope for. Or would this be the setting that would make us better. I always try to come up with what he wants, even though it hurts too much. I feel two different things, happy for I met him again. Happy for I was able to touch again his face. Just looking at him while he was sleeping, just like the days when he used to sleep just beside me. I miss all the things that we used to do and have before. I am thinking if we were like before now, how would we be then. I am also sad, lonely, for I know that moment is something that won't last. We'll have to end up parting our ways apart. I hugged him so tight like it was the last hug I can ask for, the comfort that I can try to savour. For I don't know myself when will be the next. He gave me his assurance, a promise again I have to cling to. I see a light, but its very faint that it seeps the life out of me. I am weak, I am one too frail. He told me of all things that happened to him, it was better. I knew he is having a better life. And I asked myself, how am I today. It seemed like I want to fall down and cry, but no, not in front of him. I tried to keep it from him. I have to survive, work hard, for mabe one day, he would realize he would like to be with me again. For I know he does not want to, we just have to see ourselves, probably, once or twice a month, or once in a blue moon. I don't have a choice but to agree, for I know in my heart I long for him every minute. When I think of all these things, I think, are these supposed to be in our plan, and if it is, then why am I not happy with it. If not, then why cannot I do anything about it. Everything is all just up to him, I rest my life with him along with all my dreams and wishes that had stopped by with a sudden turn of a moment.

Turn Back the Pendulum 2

I was quite surprised that he found this blog and I thought, well, he remembered me. With all his thoughts that he has for me, I hope that he knew I am already on the point where I am ready to take all the struggles again for us to have something different, a life of our own, and maybe something he can be proud of. But at that moment, when I was already about to change things for the better, I was left off handed, nowhere to go, nowhere to seek comfort with. Just when the time, I am already about to face our dreams, again, I failed. I tried to reach him when I have no money, but if he only knew who I reached before him. I tried to swallow all my pride and guts, I tried to go to my family and yet I was pushed away, to my friends and yet I was not able to find them. So he's the last person I knew and I trusted I can turn to but yet, even though I know he should already be having his time of his life, I turned to him like I was in a point of death and life. In desolation, I did things I have to do in order to survive. I came to the point that I have to eat once a day, by the time free lunch is served in our office. And I did not want him to know that, eventhough, I know he will see this soon. But yet, I did my best, because I know I have to survive. I want to be better so if he decides to see me once again, he'll see that I lived and survived. I trusted that he would take me out of that place but yet, I failed, in a sudden, he went and sailed on his own. I hope I can do the right things to correct everything, but without him, what can I do.

Raz, I know I did things that hurt you and I realized that. I told you that I'll get a job to help you and I did. I told you we'll go somewhere else to live but some unfortunate events happened. Just by the time, I was already working things out, you have to leave, and I thought I'll leave next. But, when you left, you also left me behind. Now, tell me, in my current condition, I am trying to stand up from my great fall, and I cannot bear this pain. I seek help and it hurts when I know it should not be from you. I did things you cannot imagine just to stand up once again but yet, I feel I'm still down. You're last text with me was to let me know that you we're compensated for 30K, and I did not asked money, because I know, at my great fall, at my lowest point, I cannot ask already for help. What I was asking was just a time to be with you, but yet you refused. You left me then without saying goodbye. Is it really that easy for you? Cause its not for me. I go home, sleep, go to work thinking why I need to survive, what for. Is it because I am scared to die or is it because I want to prove I am strong. But for all this, I still am living. Because I am thinking, you probably might want me back, but its like a wish on a shooting star. If you want me, lets sail together, if not, please let me know and you'll never have to remember me. I love you, you know I will always do. If this is again another test, this one is something I can never fail. But if you push me to that failing point, just push me with one blow or help me win again. I hope you know what I am dealing now, good thing for you, you're on the opposite side of life. See you soon...

Turn Back the Pendulum

I always wondered what I can do to change my path and lead it for the better, but everytime I tried my best, it all comes down to nothing. I have made up my mind that I'll do my best so we'll be better but there are some things that I cannot control. Right now, he already left me with every wishes and dreams I have hoped for. Just when the time I was ready to move forward. Just when the time I was ready to face our dreams. But then, some unfortunate events happened that led us to be apart, what I do not expect is that he would go off board and sail on his own. I was left alone, if he only knew everything that happened to me as I struggle to survive until this moment. In times, I was mad, for all of this was not supposed to happen, but shit happens. I always love him and if it comes to a time that he need to go on his own, I will always concede. I just wish that what he's going through right now is something that would already make him happy and better.

I really do miss him, how can I not. Every time I sleep, I always longed for him, crazy thinking that one day, he would open the door and come right beside me. I wonder, if we meet again, how will I face him, with all the tragedies of being alone, how will I face him. For now, I have to survive, move on, no regrets for everything happens for a reason. We might not know yet but I am getting there for sure.